Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
