also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
