Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
