i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
is wine microwaveable?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
