You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize