I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
