If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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