he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
We're too hungover to prance.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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