party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
