sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
