The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
