Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
We are all done wearing pants today
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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