You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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