he wants to bone in the snuggie
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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