I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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