The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
