The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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