I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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