You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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