like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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