are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
