dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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