It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
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