This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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