Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
