I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
