i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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