we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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