THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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