It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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