Define "chronic" masturbator.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
