I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
i think my cat just said my name.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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