Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
