So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
