Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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