Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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