You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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