ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
