I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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