I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
