I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
