I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It's like God shit irony all over that family
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize