And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
