Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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