I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
