based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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