i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
