she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
