Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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