I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
