She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
