ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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