just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
