Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
