You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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