i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
