I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
