it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
