I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
